Domestic violence is when someone in an intimate relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife), or an ex-partner, uses fear to control the other person. It can take the below forms.

• Physical – Can be direct assaults on your body using their body, objects or weapons. This includes assault on children and pets and being denied access to your home and deprivation of sleep or food.
• Verbal / Emotional – Constant put-downs, ridicule, name calling, humiliation in public or in private and insults around sexuality, body image, intelligence or parenting skills.
• Social – Controlling who you see, who you speak to, and/or who you receive phone calls, messages or email from. Controlling where you go so that you become socially or geographically isolated from other people.
• Psychological – Behaviour and/or comments/taunts to undermine your sense of self and your personal security. You may feel vulnerable around your personal safety or mental health and wellbeing.
• Digital – Using technology to bully, harass or intimidate you. Including threats to share, or sharing private photos online without your consent. Controlling who you can/can’t be friends with on social media and sending insulting messages via digital platforms.
• Sexual – any forced or unwanted sexual activity.
• Financial – Refusing you access to money, especially where the money is legally due to you, accumulating debt in your name, or preventing you from seeking or keeping employment.
• Spiritual/Cultural – Not allowing you to practise your chosen religion/cultural beliefs, or misusing religious/spiritual traditions to justify physical or other abuse towards you.
• Stalking – Constantly worrying/frightening you by: following, watching, phoning or messaging you. Writing letters or waiting outside your home/workplace.
• Damage to property – Using their physical strength or violence to intimidate you by causing or threatening to cause damage to your property or valuables.

Call Womensline on 1800 811 811

Safe houses (sometimes called refuge or shelters) provide safe and secure accommodation for those escaping domestic violence in their homes or community.

Call Womensline on 1800 811 811

Your safety and the safety of your children and your pets is a priority whether you are planning to stay in the relationship, thinking about leaving or have already left.

If you are staying in the relationship, think about what you can do to keep yourself safe, particularly at times when your partner becomes abusive, or you sense the situation is escalating. Some tips may be:

• Create ‘signals’ for supportive neighbours, family or friends that let them know to come over or to call for help. For example, switch on a particular light, leave a curtain blind closed /open, phone or text a friend with an agreed cue or a message that will be a prompt or code for them to help in whatever way you have discussed.
• Keep spare keys and important documents or copies of them, where you can get to them easily.

But remember, you and your family are not out of harms way until you have left the violent situation. Once you have left, you can help your children recover emotionally by talking to them about what has happened, ensuring they understand that it was in no way their fault. 

• Protect children from violence by taking them to a safe place.
• Get support to take action against the violence, this will show them that violence is not acceptable.
• Reassure the child that none of the violent episodes were their fault in any way.
• Tell them how much you love them and cuddle them often.
• Encourage them to talk openly about their feelings.
• Get extra help for your child if necessary.
• Enlist a professional from a specialist domestic and family violence service to help provide your child with emotional support.
• Tell the child that abusive behaviour is wrong and be a role model for other ways of managing anger and solving problems.
• Seek professional help, such as counselling, for all family members.

Call Womensline on 1800 811 811

No, we cannot. But, we can put you in touch with organisations that can help you. You are not in this alone, we can help you every step of the way. Our Womensline is available for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That means all public holidays, including Christmas! 

Call Womensline on 1800 811 811