Mensline Feedback – Person Experiencing Violence, Tim*

Tim* rang the DVConnect Mensline and stated he fled to Queensland from NSW*, as he was unable to find an organisation there that could support him. Tim stated his partner was very violent to him and has made him permanently disabled due to many surgeries he has had on his leg from assaults. Tim spoke about how he is qualified in his chosen industry, however, he had been unable to work in this field for the last year due to the severity of his injuries. Tim informed the Mensline counsellor that he was kicked out of his family home at 15 years old because his family didn’t approve of him identifying as gay and therefore, he doesn’t have family support. He also said that his ex-partner is in jail for 5 breaches of the Domestic Violence Order (DVO), but Tim remained fearful of the potential ramifications to his personal safety when his ex-partner was released. He blamed Tim for calling the Police after the most recent serious assault. Tim had been staying in an Air BnB and was unsure where to start in terms of linking in with support services. The Mensline counsellor provided emotional support and discussed ‘gayshare housing’ which allows room sharing with people from the queer community, who Tim stated he would feel safer staying with. Open Doors was also provided as an option (Tim is under 25 years old) and the option for face to face support through Open Doors was discussed. Information for Diverse Voices and Homeless Hotline Information Queenland (HPIQ) was also text through to him so that Tim had immediate access to services that were available to assist him in meeting his immediate needs. Tim thanked the counsellor for all the support and stated he felt overwhelmed that someone was willing to talk to him and provide him with non-judgemental support after everything that he had experienced.

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

Mensline Feedback – Person Using Violence, Andrew*

Andrew*, a retired ex-servicemen, contacted DVConnect following his use of domestic and family violence against his partner. Andrew was stressed, confused and had become isolated from friends, family and colleagues after being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). DVConnect’s Mensline discussed the impact of domestic and family violence on Andrew’s partner and broader social networks and reinforced that it was critical to introduce change. Mensline provided information about the Court process, options available to him and Change Programs in his region. The Mensline counsellor highlighted the nature of trauma and PTSD and discussed healthy coping strategies. As well as what it would mean to Andrew if he were to irreversibly damage his relationship with his partner and children as a consequence of his choices. Andrew committed to regaining his fitness and reconnecting with friends, colleagues, his Church and family members. Andrew recognised domestic and family violence services were vital for improving his wellbeing and his relationship with his partner. Several weeks later once Court processes were complete, Andrew called back and stated he signed up for ongoing behavioural change assistance. He also stated that DVConnect Mensline had been significant in his journey towards rehabilitation. He advised his personal circumstances had been improving remarkably with the professional support he was receiving and he expressed gratitude to Police and DVConnect Mensline counsellors.`

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

Mensline Feedback – Person Using Violence, Krishna*

Forty year old Krishna* contacted DVConnect Mensline from Brisbane. Krishna identified that the Police had provided the Mensline phone number and that he had been ousted from the house after he had used violence against his wife (the most recent incident witnessed by his children). As he called at 4.30pm the nearest Centrelink Office and other services were closed and Krishna identified that he had nowhere to stay that evening. He expressed outrage at being ousted from the house, although stated that his name was not on the lease. The Mensline counsellor worked with Krishna around the immediate presenting issue, that he had nowhere to stay. Krishna was articulating his desire to return to the house he was ousted from and his anger at this not being an option because of his choice to use violence. The Mensline counsellor spoke with him about:

  • The possible legal consequences of returning to the house he was ousted from, using this as an opportunity to reflect back to the individual that violence was always a choice that he made.
  • How he saw the impact of his violence on his children, whether he might consider connecting with ongoing supports and reengage with positive networks that he had previously been supported through and exploring alternative options to returning home, including staying with possibly family/friends.
  • The Mensline counsellor encouraged him to see how the Police intervention and the impact of his violence on his wife and children could be drawn upon as motivation for positive change and growth if he wanted to remain part of their lives and be a positive role model for his children.

Krishna confirmed that he would receive his next Centrelink payment the following day, therefore, the Mensline counsellor, with the consent and input of the caller, was able to ring Anglicare in the next town and confirm that shared housing/hostel was available for the individual. The Mensline counsellor booked bus travel out of the town that evening, thereby removing him from the likelihood of returning to the home. The caller also entered into an agreement with the Mensline counsellor that he would contact us from the hostel the following morning to confirm what his plans were for that day, as well as to consider what further support he might need. The caller followed through with this agreement and contacted Mensline, stating that he planned to remain in the hostel for the next week whilst seeking to contact family who lived in Mt Isa with the intention of relocating and looking for employment.

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

Mensline Feedback – Person Using Violence, Zhang*

Police responded to a report of domestic and family violence in remote Northern Queensland. On attendance, Police identified that Zhang* would likely benefit from services that could assist with addressing his violent behaviour and referred Zhang to DVConnect Mensline. DVConnect Mensline were unable to contact Zhang on the phone, however Mensline mailed a letter to Zhang which highlighted the services available, which included crisis counselling, clarification of Court processes, support and assistance to access local services and that having a conversation that would encourage Zhang to look at the safety and wellbeing of other individuals affected by his decision to use violence. Zhang contacted DVConnect and was grateful Police had arranged an agency to initiate contact with him and offer help. Zhang appreciated the seriousness of the situation and the critical need for change to benefit himself and all family members.

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

Mensline Feedback – Person Using Violence, George*

A DVConnect Mensline counsellor contacted a male client named George* who was referred to DVConnect by Police on the Gold Coast. The Police were seeking our assistance to help George, who was the perpetrator of domestic and family violence. As often is the case, the male client was angry and blamed others to minimise his involvement and contribution to the domestic and violence. The counsellor assured George that our offer of assistance was sincere and that there certainly is a way forward to improve the situation for him and the family. George had been served with a Domestic Violence Application that morning and was confused and angry. The information DVConnect Mensline provided George about the application and court process took away much of the his anxiety, which allowed him to be more open to hear about other positive and useful information our counsellor provided. After discussing the situation and the impact of his behaviour upon his family and that of his children who were 4 and 6, he agreed to seek further assistance and participate in a Men’s Behavioural Change Program. This type of outcome is a critical piece in the holistic response towards Queensland being free from domestic, family and sexual violence.

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

Mensline Feedback – Person Using Violence, Mauricio*

Police responded to calls of domestic and family violence in a Brisbane suburb. Mauricio* had caused physical harm to his wife and was ordered to immediately vacate the house until Court proceedings involving his matter had concluded. Police referred Mauricio to DVConnect for immediate support, clarification and assistance with accommodation and other necessities. During his engagement with DVConnect, the counsellor was able to identify Mauricio was actively minimising the harm he caused, attempting to justify his behaviours, and he referenced the severe ramifications Court proceedings would have on his job, housing and personal circumstances. Mauricio disclosed he had a Domestic Violence Order (DVO) taken out against him where he was under no circumstances allowed to approach the house or his family members. Mauricio disclosed he breached the DVO and had broken into the family house with the intention to self-harm and he had a rope in his possession. At this point in the conversation, Mauricio terminated the call. Mensline staff identified Mauricio was at high risk of self-harm and posed a threat to his family and immediately notified police. Mauricio was taken into custody.

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

Thank you DVConnect for saving my Mums life, and mine. You guys getting us out of there changed everything. Thank you so much. Life is good now! 

Our survivor has chosen to remain anonymous.

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How your donation will help

  • Provides operational support to fund our bridging accommodation residence Bella's Sanctuary.
  • Provides emergency transport and accommodation for Queenslanders in crisis due to domestic and family violence.
  • Provides safety planning, crisis counselling and information to those impacted by domestic and family violence.
  • Educates Queenslanders on how to help family, friends and colleagues who have experienced, or are experiencing domestic and family violence.