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Sexual Assault Helpline – Survivors Stories

 

Sexual Assault Helpline – Survivors Story – Sexual violence by a stranger

Kayla* contacted DVConnect Sexual Assault Line and disclosed she had been walking through Brisbane city after University and was raped by a stranger. Kayla told the Sexual Assault Helpline counsellor she disclosed what happened to her friend, and her friend asked her “Why didn’t you just run away?” Kayla had not spoken about the assault since the incident happened because she was unsure how people would respond and was concerned people would think she could have prevented being raped. The Sexual Assault Helpine counsellor reiterated that what had happened to Kayla was not a result
of Kayla’s actions but it was a choice made by the abuser, therefore the shame and blame was not Kayla’s responsibility. Kayla was referred to specialised counselling services in her area and was given information about the Brisbane Rape and Incest Survivors Support Centre (BRISSC) that she could access for further support. This conversation demonstrates how the Sexual Assault Helpline can be the “first port of call” for people who have experienced sexual assault. It also demonstrates how counsellors acknowledge the seriousness of sexual assault, respond in a way that does not victim blame, and then refers onto the most suitable ongoing support service for the individual contacting.

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

 

Sexual Assault Helpline – Survivors Story – Sexual abuse as a young boy

One morning, a Sexual Assault Helpline counsellor received a call from Robert, a man in his forties who had been assaulted as a young person. Robert did not feel comfortable providing much in the way of identifying information about himself to our counsellor, nor did he have to. What Robert did want to talk about was how he felt memories of his past experience had been seeping into his consciousness more and more in recent times. Robert had not reported the sexual assault to anyone previously and felt that he had “dealt with it all”, moving forward with his life and keeping his past buried. Although this had worked for him previously, Robert reached out to DVConnect because he identified that the impact his past experience was having on the present could not be ignored, and he wanted to resource himself with information about what help was available to him as an adult survivor of sexual abuse and as a deeply private person. Our Sexual Assault Helpline counsellor supported Robert during his first disclosure and talked him through options and referral pathways available to him that could provide him with specialist support moving forward, including information about MARS Australia (Men Affected by Rape and Sexual Abuse). Robert ended his contact with DVConnect equipped with information and resources that would be beneficial to support him in addressing what had happened to him as a young person. In addition, he received a non-judgemental and professional response from the Sexual Assault Helpline counsellor who was able to ease Robert’s nerves about reaching out and provide a safe space for him to disclose details of trauma he had experienced many years previously.

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

 

Sexual Assault Helpline – Survivors Story – Sexual abuse as a young girl by family member

Janet* contacted the Sexual Assault Helpline from the Mackay* area and advised the counsellor that she was “having a meltdown,” and needed to talk to someone. Janet, now in her mid-thirties, stated that when she was 14 years old, she had been sexually assaulted by an Uncle. Janet said that a few years after the assault, her Uncle had left Australia and returned to the UK where her family had migrated from and she hadn’t seen or spoken to him since. The reason Janet was calling in a distressed state was that she had just found out that her Uncle was returning to the Townsville area and that she had started to have flashbacks of the abuse, a constant reminder of what happened to her. Janet disclosed that she had never reported the assault to anyone and no-one in her family knew. When asked whether there was a family member that she could trust with this information, Janet identified that her sister would likely support her and be able to manage questions around why Janet would not be attending family events where her Uncle would also be present. The Sexual Assault Helpline counsellor confirmed with Janet that she felt safe where she currently lived and offered strategies to manage the flashbacks. Janet was also encouraged to speak with her sister if she felt safe to do so and reiterated the value in having support networks. Janet was also provided with contact information for the Townsville Women’s Centre with Mackay Women’s Centre to access counselling supports, which Janet was very interested in. Janet finished the call with the Sexual Assault Helpline counsellor feeling equipped with knowledge of local support services, strategies to manage her flashbacks and a plan to speak with her sister. Janet presented calm and no longer as distressed as she was at the start of the call when she initially contacted the Sexual Assault Helpline for support.

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

 

Sexual Assault Helpline – Survivors Story – Sexual abuse of the disabled by a family friend

Gavin* from South East Queensland* contacted the Sexual Assault Helpline to talk about an incident that happened the previous night that made him uncomfortable. Gavin disclosed that he had a disability that impacted on his overall size and strength and that his parents were his full time carers. Gavin disclosed that his parents went away to attend a close friends engagement celebrations. In order to have support while they were away, Gavin’s parents arranged for their friend to come over. During the night, Gavin said that the individual began touching him inappropriately, even when he attempted to resist and told them to stop. Gavin said he felt helpless and angry at having a disability that prevented him from being able to stop someone from sexually abusing him. The Sexual Assault Helpline counsellor stressed that the assault was not Gavin’s fault and the individual who did this to him is the one accountable for their behaviour. Gavin had told his parents, who were wanting to press charges, but he was unsure as to whether he wanted to do this himself. The Sexual Assault Helpline counsellor validated Gavin’s feelings and emphasised that it was his decision whether or not to press charges as he would be the one who would be going through the investigation process. During the conversation, Gavin was provided with information about other services that could support him, including information about Living Well who provide face to face specialist sexual assault counselling and support.

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

 

Sexual Assault Helpline – Survivors Story – Coerced into sex by ex-partner

Marama* rang the Sexual Assault Helpline and requested information about local services she could contact for face-to-face support. DVConnect’s Sexual Assault Helpline counsellor provided Marama with details of services nearby, however Marama expressed concern the services wouldn’t support her based on her own experience perhaps not meeting the “eligibility criteria” to receive assistance. Marama stated she had been separated from her ex-partner for 2 years, however he continued to visit their son and pressure her for sex at her home. Marama was coerced into having sex with her ex-partner out of fear of what he might do when she refused, and because she wanted to ensure her son continued to have a relationship with his father. Marama said she hated what was happening to her but she thought it would not be classified as sexual assault as she had previously been in a consensual relationship with her son’s father and therefore, no one would believe her. Marama cried after sharing her story because she received the validation she needed and confirmation that what she had been experiencing for many years was sexual violence. Marama was linked into relevant support which enabled her to access ongoing face-to-face counselling.

*Name and location have been changed to protect our client’s identity.

 

 

Call the Sexual Assault Helpline

Call 1800 010 120

Counsellors are available from 7:30am until 11:30pm, 7 days

Thank you for your help, for everything you have done for me over the last few days. Your services are more than impressive and impeccable for anyone who may be in danger or in need of help of any kind. I may not be here today without your protection and the services you provided me. It is amazing to know there are people out there that give their absolute best to keep others safe, because they can and they care. Before making the call to you I felt too ashamed and far too proud to ask anyone for help. But now I feel strong knowing that I had the courage to put my hand up and ask for help. It saved my life! 

Sarah, Gold Coast

We need your support.

With your donation we can:

  • Provide more emergency transport and accommodation to those escaping violence.
  • Provide more temporary accommodation for pets whose families have escaped violence.
  • Provide more crisis counselling to those who have experienced violence.
  • Educate Queenslanders on how they can help family/friends experiencing violence.