Signs of an abusive relationship

Signs of an abusive relationship are not always easy to see. It is not always easy to identify if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic and family violence, or is in an abusive relationship. Violence and abuse are experienced in many different ways. Violence and abuse can include emotional abuse, sexual abuse and financial abuse.

Read more about the different types of abuse.


The Signs

Jealousy, possessiveness, put downs, threats and violence!

Below are signs of an abusive relationship. These behaviours are typical of the jealousy, possessiveness, put downs, threats and violence that occur in domestic violence and abusive relationships. Someone may be experiencing an abusive relationship if the below are occurring. 

  • unfairly and regularly accuses her of flirting or being unfaithful
  • controls how she spends money
  • decides what she wears or eats
  • humiliates her in front of other people
  • monitors what she is doing, including reading her emails and text messages
  • discourages or prevents her from seeing friends and family
  • threatens to hurt her, the children or pets
  • physically assaults her (hitting, biting, slapping, kicking, pushing)
  • yells at her
  • threatens to use a weapon against her
  • constantly compares her with other people
  • constantly criticises her intelligence, mental health and appearance
  • prevents her from practicing her religion.


How to support someone you know

If someone you love, care or are concerned about is in an abusive relationship, please call us at DVConnect. We can help prepare with how to approach the person, if appropriate and many more techniques, including helping them create a Safety Plan. Call our Womensline 1800 811 811, anytime 24/7. Call Mensline 1800 600 636, between 9am – midnight, 7 days. The below are some ways you can support someone you know who has told you they are experiencing or have experienced violence:

  • believe the person
  • make sure they understand it is not their fault
  • listen without judging
  • be supportive, encouraging, open and honest
  • ask if they need help from DVConnect and discuss their options
  • offer to go with the person if they meet with a support service
  • keep in touch with the person to see how they are going.


What to do if you are in an abusive relationship

If you are in a relationship where domestic and family violence may be occurring, please call us at DVConnect. We are here to listen and provide you with the options available to you. We can help you with a Safety Plan to prepare you to leave, or to keep you safe until you decide you are ready to leave. When you are ready, we can provide you with emergency transport, emergency accommodation and crisis counselling. You can call anonymously.

Call Womensline 1800 811 811, anytime 24/7.

Call Mensline 1800 600 636, between 9am – midnight, 7 days.

Thank you for your help, for everything you have done for me over the last few days. Your services are more than impressive and impeccable for anyone who may be in danger or in need of help of any kind. I may not be here today without your protection and the services you provided me. It is amazing to know there are people out there that give their absolute best to keep others safe, because they can and they care. Before making the call to you I felt too ashamed and far too proud to ask anyone for help. But now I feel strong knowing that I had the courage to put my hand up and ask for help. It saved my life! 

Sarah, Gold Coast

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  • Provide more emergency transport and accommodation to those escaping violence.
  • Provide more safety planning, crisis counselling & information to those escaping violence.
  • Educate Queenslanders on how to help family/friends/colleagues experiencing violence.