“I was a mess… I knew I had problems but I didn’t know where to start. The guys at Mensline really helped me …they helped me work out where things had gone wrong and gave me support and directions to get myself back on track “ Jason
Are you a victim?
As a male victim of domestic or family violence the physical and psychological impact on both you and your children can be just as devastating as those reported for women.
The first vital step for you is in admitting the situation, and next is to recognise that you are not alone, and that there is help available for you. If you cannot talk to a family member, or someone else you trust, please call Mensline on 1800 600 636.
Admitting the problem and seeking help doesn’t mean you have failed as a man or as a husband. We recognise that it takes courage to reach out; sharing your experience and having someone listen and offer nonjudgmental support can give you a sense of relief that will assist you to take steps towards improving your safety and wellbeing, and to work through what you want to do next.
Have you been accused of using Domestic Violence?
Research suggests that while some men who are violent may think about getting help, the majority of them don’t.
There are many reasons why men who have used domestic violence to control their partners or family do not seek out help. One of the most common reasons is that they are ashamed, or that they may have tried to get help in the past and it hasn’t worked out well, or they just didn’t know where to go or who to talk to.
Things to remember
‘Mensline counsellors are experienced in listening to and dealing with men’s problems’
Many men who have previously used violence in their personal or family relationships and who choose to get help, can change their behaviours, and they can go on to have healthier and happier relationships
If you have accepted that your violent behaviour has led to problems in your life and have taken the next step – to get some help… Mensline can assist you.
You will need to understand that it may take a while for you to sort out your problems, and for your family to learn to trust you again.
You may also have to come to terms with the fact that your partner has the right to end the relationship if they chose…
“men of quality – respect women’s equality”
If you want to start developing respectful and trusting relationships consider the following tips*:-
- To change your life and develop trusting relationships you will need to change the way you think or your ‘beliefs’.
- Here are some helpful beliefs you will need to adopt…
- I CAN change by beliefs, attitude and behaviour
- I am in charge of my own life
- I choose to be responsible for my behaviour, thoughts and feelings
- It’s okay for people to have different views. I can disagree with someone’s opinion, without judging them
- It’s okay for others to have and express their own opinions, values and beliefs.
*Reproduced with permission from NQDVRS More information about Men’s Behaviour Change Programs can be found at www.nqdvrs.org.au